Random

I am trying to turn inside out. Figuratively I mean.

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damn it

on another note,

like these ones too


And I love this song!!

Val Emmich-Snowy Day
every day just blurs into one
the moon starts to look just like the sun
full steam ahead day to night
never fully charged, never quite right

but she was a snowy day
a break from working hard for such little pay
yeah she was a snowy day
she let me get some rest, she let me sleep real late
so I could fight another day

bleary eyed, i drag my feet along
by the time the caffeine hits the day is gone
but she came and gave me time to catch my breath
she shut the city down, no one's left the house yet

yeah she was a snowy day
a break from working hard for such little pay
yeah she was a snowy day
she let me get some rest, she let me sleep real late
so I could fight another day

the sun is hidden well behind
a sky of white has frozen time
and all responsibilities delayed
one by one the deck is stacked
with all that modern life can pack
I don't know how much more that I can take
I'm so thankful for this snowy day
a break from working hard for such little pay
yeah she was a snowy day
she let me catch my breath, she let me sleep real late
so I could fight another day
she was a snowy day

Nyek Nyek Nyek

I was going to write something very emo here, but this guy(who comments on my blog) Joshua.. made me laugh.. and now I feel 'unburdened' again, so Im going to say something a little chirpy.

This past month has been a 'lessons in life' experience for me. I am learning to live. But as usual, the little madam backslides a lot. So, for my public speaking 5 minute presentation in uni, Im doing a topic on LIFE. To appreciate life. To count blessings. To live.

Am I living??

Well, Im trying to hehe. But firstly, I have decided that Annikins needs more discipline. DISCIPLINE!
just coz this tiggeroo is purty!

Then, she needs to stop procrastinating. Coz tom Christ could come, and Im too late.

After that, she needs to put to work what she has planned. Coz I rarely do this.

And lastly, she needs to let go of her past. In which my ex-boyfriends lives happily ever after (and still does).

Wait a minute its supposed to be chirpy!

Oh by the way, I think I have morphed into a very very UGLY butterfly, into a pretty OK looking larvae, and SOON TO BE GORGEOUS butterfly :)

TA *bows*

Nothin to do la..

Dresses I want... :)




Hair colours I want... :)

tha last one is the main colour, the other two highlights.

Saving up for rental.. then save up for Ipod. Getting camera soon(free la)
:)

going to work to send my parents to India/Israel by 2011.

Nails in my head

I am having this horrible headaches.. which have morphed into migraines since the holiday break.

some make me cry. Its that painful.

I should go check it out. But I dont want to.. I dont intend on wasting time at GH and then coing out with phony results.

Headache :'( I really wanna cry right now. I cant even sleep..

I found this awesome song by Barlow Girls. I am feeling this need to just be quiet in the Presence of God. Just wanna be still and know that He is God.

I dont'Regret

They're telling me they're concerned for the way I am living
That I'll miss it all why would I think that God is that trusting
I can't explain all the words He has spoken to my heart
Why'd I want him more

I don't regret choosing you
And I'm not ashamed
That it's You who holds my heart

Why do we think if we trust God too much will fail us
Nothing has come when I chose its that in me I'd trust
Separate me You have called out to follow You blindly
I won't fear You're leading me

I don't regret choosing You
And I'm not ashamed
That it's You who holds my heart

You have shown my ever wondering heart what love is
What on earth is more important than to have all of you

I don't regret choosing you
And I'm not ashamed
That it's You who holds my heart

by the way we celebrated yet another birthday today :)

Pictures later k?
MUAX!

This

This is what I really want.

To be able to be comfortable in my own skin. To be able to walk around in nothings and feel ok. To be able to look into the mirror and absolutely love what I see. To believe that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. To be able to wear everything I want to. To never have anxiety over myself. To watch my mother be proud of me. To be in relationship with God closer than ever. To live a life of Christ. To accept the things I cannot have. To strive for the things I do, and should, and could have.

I want to feel complete, and not having to force myself. I want to live my life to the fullest, go places, make my parents happy. I want to be me, and me with an attitude. And attitude with Christ. I want my pet mouseys and I want to love love love! I want to ride my vespa and feel the wind in my air. Live for the moment! like the sparrows. I want to share this life with God, and impart everything I have to everyone.

I want this.

I really really want this.

Law of Attraction

October's been telling me about 'The Law of Attraction".

This is what the law of attraction is.

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You get what you put your energy and focus on, whether wanted or unwanted. The Law of Attraction is neutral.

All forms of matter and energy are attracted to that which is of a like vibration.

You are a living magnet.

Energy attracts like energy

"That which is like unto itself is drawn." Abraham-Hick

• 
  

So, Ive been doing some research on it. To be honest, I used to read a lot of motivational and self help books until I found this book called the Bible, and frankly nothing else interests me anymore.

But after doing some research, (googling Law of Attraction vs the Scripture), I see that there is, in some way where the Law of Attraction seems to walk hand in hand with the Bible.

I like how it is written in here, (http://secrettothelawofattraction.com/is-the-law-of-attraction-really-from-the-bible) that Jesus was the ultimate teacher and practioner of the LOA.

* Matthew 21:22 “Whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.”

* Matthew 7:7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

* Mark 11:24 “What things soever ye desire, When ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them”.

Another site said basically this. To sum it up, Believe God and do what works!

The one thing I wanna add is, throughout my life , if there is ONE thing I have learned, it is that it never works going against God's way. Yes, you might get it. But you're stuck with it. And then you realise "oh damn it wasnt good for me!!"

The best life you can live, is a life which God governs and decides. No its not slavery... Sheesh.
We were made by God, and FOR GOD. So what better way to live than to just live out your purpose.

So, back to the Law of Attraction. Basically explains why I have been attracting jerks and losers these past 5ish years.. Or rather, attracted to one. I have been thinking so much of negative thoughts.. That Im attracting negative energy.. and LAME!! I am one right now.

However, I am already starting to change my thoughts, and thinking and starting to think positive and good thoughts about myself, my life and sure, there are drawbacks but WE GROW THRU CHALLENGES!

SO, this is what I am starting to do. Everyday, I am going to literally count my blessings. No. not the "Oh the sun is shining.. Oh the moon is out there blablabla blessings," I am going to record the good things that God has allowed in my life, and the good things that have been given to me through the challenges in life.

Count my blessings. Really live each day like its my last. Never condemn myself. Strive for the better. I release all my hurt. Life is too sweet and brief to dwell on these things.

Dwell my thoughts in God's. God and me... Reconnect everyday. Include Jesus in everything I do. Do all things without complaining. Learn, and die learning. Good days, and happy days. everyday is OK. everyday is good.

You dont have to lose your life and your personality and your character and be a zombie christian. That would totally defeat Christ's purpose. The Idea is to integrate yourself with God. Not abandon yourself and take on phony lying hypocrite role.

Long post. But I like it.

A blessed life

This recent death as sparked something new inside my heart.

I cannot continue this aimless living anymore. A better word would be complacency to my salvation and my new life.

I counted my blessings, and my blessings are many.

I have wonderful parents. They are not perfect. But I couldnt have had a better pair. They gave me the freedom to be who I want to be, and the restrictions that helped me not lose myself in the process.

I have had a wonderful life. I learned how to love. I know how it is to love. I know how beautiful is it.

I have been given experiences that have made me sensitive to the things most people cant see or experience.

I know how pain feels like. I also know the joy of comfort.
I know what rejection is. I also know the feeling of being accepted and given a crown on top of that.

I have a beautiful life here. Beautiful house. Beautiful uni. I have a family like friendship with my friends. I have a bicycle that takes all the abuse and yet takes me everywhere.

I have been given a good life, a lot of testing and it has made me stronger, wiser, more independent, and less clingy.

I am beautiful and I rather be me, than anyone else in this world.

I have a SAVIOUR.. that I often abandon. But He never did.

I have everything I could ever have.

AND i have learned, never to take anything granted. Never to live for your selfish self. Live like its your last, and never forget to impart everything you have. Dont be selfish and never ever FORGET GOD. Everything is precious in God's sight. And always remember to love.

Because when its darkest, God's love in you shines like the hope that is to come in the morning.

sigh

I thought the more deaths you see, the more pain you feel, the more hurts you experience , the more numb you start to feel to those experiences..

Ive lost 8 people I love dearly.. and 3 of them I loved to death. I still do. Ive seen 4 of my loved ones die in just period of a year.. Maybe its not experience enough.. but it is experience.

So why do I feel so depressed over the Batu Berangkai tragedy...?

I dont even know them.

what the heck right?

I've been wasting my time for years.

I feel like I still am.

I need to conquer my bulimia. But not purging leaves me scared to death that I rather not eat.

something needs to be done here

rest in peace my friends (death of UTAR students)

I am devastated.

James Khor Wan Kai, 20; Yew Shy Gin, 19 and Yew Ghim Chnieh, 20... died yesterday.

They drowned.

I dont really know them. Ive heard Vishnu talking about Yew Ghim Chnieh. And suddenly!!

I cant stop crying. My heart feels like.. like someone I loved so deeply died.

Life is short. LIFE IS SO FREAKING SHORT. And whats more, you never know when its going to end.

James said in his blog, he wanted to be extraordinary.

He's no more. But let's carry that torch for him. Let us live our life extraordinarily.

R.I.P guys. You will be missed.

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Just a thought.

Would I feel differently, if I knew they were saved?

I think I would.

Oh God, my heart hurts so much. Dan said it wasnt in my power to show them Christ. But what about all my friends?

Am i convincing enough, for them to know my life is different? Am I close to God enough to be able to pull them in too? Into a safe place?

Am I living Christ like enough? Is my faith even as big as a mustard seed?
Or am I just another hypocrite? A pharisee? Is my salvation enough just for me?
Is my life mine? Havent I already given it to Christ?

Can I tell you that this life isnt worth it without Jesus Christ in your life? Would it hurt? Would it sound prejudice? Would it be racist? What if I was telling the truth? Would you accept it? Would I see you again? Would I see you in heaven? Would it be ok to go against your believes for a greater good in your life?
Would it be ok if I tell you I love you more than words could eloquate. That I need you more than anything. And I cant bear to lose you because I was too selfish to tell you the ONLY THING THAT CAN SAVE YOU WAS SOMEONE's DEATH?

Would it?

Happy belated birthday Suria.. Kiam Kiam

I love you guys...